We here at the White House, those of us who nobody ever sees, are in need of knowing what the public thinks about the Ukraine situation so that we can better serve (as in, you’ve been served) our great citizens.
We know that opinions vary, but it’s important to have the right opinion so that you can post the right flag on your social media accounts to show us exactly how well the propaganda is working. The correct flag to post is the Ukraine flag, just in case there was any question. Never question. Ever.
This extensive survey, or maybe we should call it a quiz because there are right and wrong answers, will tell the FBI…or is it the CIA? Or maybe it’s Homeland Security? In any case, it will tell them exactly what they need to know about you. They probably already know too much, but feel free to give them more.