Aliens are Killing Humans!

Faux Newspaper: The Daily BullShit. Headline: Aliens are Killing Humans!

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The Daily BullShit

Propaganda you can count on!
Volume: Too loud—it’s the same old crap

Scope: Global
Totalitarianism Lives in the Darkness
Price: Your Freedom

Aliens are killing humans!

The Connection between UFOS and sudden deaths

Top experts in some field somewhere that we heard about from some other experts who know about this kind of thing have confirmed that aliens have been killing humans since early 2021. Conspiracy theorists and misinformation spreaders attributed these sudden, non-Covid deaths to the Covid vaccine. Imagine that! Those people will believe anything!

Other sources who met us in a small cafe (we did confirm they were not Project Veritas agents because we asked them) told The Daily Bullshit that aliens, first observed back in the 1950s, but recently observed disguised as weather balloons, have been killing humans for the last two years. All those sudden deaths you’ve been reading about were perpetrated by our enemies, the aliens!

It’s time for the world to come together and fight this common foe. Our time is now! We must let our leaders lead us by making the decisions that leaders make when they are leading. It’s the only way! There will be sacrifices: we might have to eat bugs, give up our homes and our privacy, but the survival of the human race is at stake!

It is time to be very afraid. Seriously, if you’re not afraid, get with the program and become a fearful, trembling citizen. Tell all your family and friends about the aliens and do it breathlessly and while in panic mode. It’s the only thing that will save us…well, that and a good frozen pizza which we have yet to find.

Do You Know an Alien?

Our sources, and we have many, many sources, tell us that aliens are everywhere. The prevailing theory is that most of the unvaccinated are aliens from outside our solar system.

The vaccine, though safe and effective for humans, is not so for them, which is why so many people (aliens!) rejected the vaccine, else why would anyone reject something so obviously safe and effective?

Don’t be fooled. They may seem like nice neighbors but their blood is not like ours. Every unvaccinated person should be considered an alien until proven otherwise.

Make sure to report any unusual traits: gun ownership, traditional families, church membership, free speech advocates, people waving  U.S. flags, military veterans or ownership of 1984 by George Orwell.

Conspiracy theorists
push vaccine hysteria
Learn the Truth! Z28.310

Freedom is overrated
Lockdowns are fun!
Following orders is best! B8

The WEF rocks! How
Cool is Klaus Schwab?
The elites who love us! A666

We make this text very small so no one will think to read it. We hate all of you. You’re just livestock to us, cattle really.

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