by The Inmate
Dear potential writer, cartoonist, reviewer,
I left the corporate world in 2003 and haven’t added much new to this site since 2005 or thereabouts. I’m looking for people that may want to step in and continue adding new content to The Corporate Asylum in the form of blog entries. If I like your stuff and now that we’re high tech here at the Asylum, I’ll give you access to start blogging on the site as a contributor. More details about what I am looking for are below.
The Corporate Asylum is looking for writers. This is a web site about work. I am looking for poetry, fiction and essays about that subject. I also want movie reviews, book reviews, web reviews and television reviews that pertain to work. I am looking for original material that contains satire, bite, humor and depth. Submissions should contain at least one of these. Personal stories are fine. Other people’s stories are also fine. I love quotes from other sources, but this is not necessary. No novels. I am also looking for different perspectives—maybe you are a CEO or an Upper-manager who disagrees with something on this site. Enter the debate if you wish. Feel free to query me with your ideas.
Cartoons, I am also looking for cartoons—original cartoons. Please submit via email in JPEG, GIF, PNG or Photoshop format.
I am also looking for things that I may not know that I want.
Let me be frank: I don’t get paid to do this; you won’t get paid to do this. Keep your day job.
Nor is this your chance for a big break. If published, you will likely be read by three or four people who will be so distracted while reading what you have taken hours and hours to write that they will not remember a word of it only seconds after they finish it. Remember that no publisher will be impressed that your essay or poem or story or whatever appeared on this web site. It is doubtful that any of your friends will be impressed. Your mother might be, but that, too, is doubtful.
Just because you send The Corporate Asylum something does not mean that it will appear on this web site. I may reject your hard work for any number of reasons that I will most likely not disclose. If I decide not to use what you’ve sent me I will notify you via email. If you print it out you could feasibly call it a rejection slip and thus feel connected to all your fellow writers who have also received those infamous pieces of paper. If rejection scares you (It shouldn’t–I, The Inmate, have dozens of rejection slips stored away in a deep pit ready to send back to those senile editors after I become world famous) remember that most of the greatest writers and thinkers of the world were often rejected by publishers, editors and critics. Your writing may be so great that I will be incapable of recognizing its greatness. On the other hand . . .
Anything you contribute here…..is mine, all mine….ha, ha, ha, ha……just kidding. It’s yours. You retain copyright. This is just a vehicle. If you get rich and famous maybe you can take me out for pizza and beer.
I look forward to hearing from you.