Re: More Information on 20th Century CEOs

by The Escaped Inmate

While on a time-travel jag, I ran across a response to the bit of 20th century history recently featured on The Corporate Asylum.  I thought I ought to share it with you.

Speculation about the meaning of the term CEO and the meaning of the messages left on VTs by various CEOs in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries may well be explained with reference to established customs that predate the material in question.

It is well established that primitive peoples were enthusiastic practitioners of imitative magic.  For example, the hunter would fashion a painting or figurine of his prey before the hunt to influence spirit powers to provide the prey for him.  Similarly ancient warriors often costumed themselves as fierce beasts to take on the qualities of those beasts in battle.

It has been established that the people of this era were greatly enamored of a high degree of artificiality.  Recent artifacts include artificial plants and even an artificial boulder — the latter found near many similar real boulders in a mountainous region.

Finally it is apparent that the CEO was quite concerned with “earnings,” “revenue” and “profit.”  While the last two terms are still undefined, it appears that “earnings” refers to material prosperity.

Taking these three bits of information together, I would posit that the CEO was the “Collective Excretory Organ” for a group of religious observers.  His speech was a form of artificial fertilizer designed to bring about economic well-being.

This hypothesis also helps to explain the rather large numbers of CEOs.  Nuances in dogma as well as geographic limitations would necessitate a large number of CEOs lest the ratio of CEOs to believers became too high.

Unfortunately I was unable to bring back any more of the future historians’ work regarding our times, but if you want to hear about the 2300’s . . . .

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