More Leaked Emails about The Orderly

Keep this secret. Keep it safe. More to come……

Date:February 9, 2022 8:16 am
To:The Warden
From:Human Resources
Subject:Big Trouble with The Orderly

Sir, I realize you don’t want us looking for another cartoonist, but I have some very shocking news about The Orderly. He did not tell me this directly, but I overheard him talking to The Inmate (that right there is a very, very bad sign). They were disparaging mask-wearing and mask-wearers and then somehow they started talking about the election in 2020.

The Orderly said the election was stolen and that Biden is an illegitimate President. Then they started talking about a bunch of conspiracy theories about chain of custody, bellwether counties, stuffing ballot boxes, dead voters, insurmountable leads and who knows what else? All this about the most secure election in history where we elected the most popular President ever.

Of course, we would not reject The Orderly on this basis. We can just say we’re looking for more diversity in our company, something he’ll surely understand since he’s a white male.

I can start looking for someone else right away as I have no doubt that you will see how problematic and toxic it would be to our working environment to have someone like this in our midst. We have enough trouble with The Inmate as it is.

Human Resources

Date:February 9, 2022 2:27 pm
To:Human Resources
From:The Warden
Subject:Re: Big Trouble with The Orderly

Don’t lose sight of the big picture: The Orderly will make us boat loads of money.

Get this deal done.

Thanks for your participation,
The Warden

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