Leaked Emails Regarding The Orderly

I obtained these at great personal risk. More to come.


Date: February 7, 2022 10:08 am
To: The Warden
From: Human Resources
Subject: There's a Problem with The Orderly

The Orderly is refusing to get vaccinated. We’ve met his insurance demands, his salary demands, his vacation demands, his office space demands and several other demands including a private bathroom, lunch stipend and a universal voter ID card (I really have no idea how we’re going to pull that off).

I have assured him that the only reason we are requiring this is for the safety of all our employees. I’ve appealed to his moral character and explained that anyone who is anyone says these are “safe and effective.”

“Will you please do this for the good of your fellow human beings?” I asked him.

“No.”

That’s like his favorite word. I think he used it 20 times during the negotiation with no explanation. Just “no.” I’m not sure what to do, sir. There is not a better cartoonist, but if he won’t follow the science, there’s really nothing we can do.

I hate to say it, but we’re just going to have to find someone else.

Should I start interviewing other cartoonists?

Regards,
Human Resources


Date: February 7, 2022 11:09 am
To: Human Resources
From: The Warden
Subject: Re: There's a Problem with The Orderly

No.

Sincerely,
The Warden

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One Comment

The Orderly

This is The Orderly. NO! There will be no jab, because of the science! Should you see the error of your ways and bring me aboard, I’m not sure that I will be able to remain orderly…in fact I believe that disorder is in order here. By the way, I’ve decided to do it for pizza and beer. I’m sure we’ll meet soon.

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