Never Forget — Covid Elevation Zones: Restaurant Masking

the problem with using absurdist doctrines to demoralize a population is that if you ever lose the power to compel, you’re left standing way out on an absurd limb with your pants down and no real explanation for what you were doing apart from “we meant well” when, clearly, you didn’t.¹

— el gato malo

I Wore the Mask

In the restaurant I wore the mask,
It seemed to me a futile task.

Those who sat had faces free,
I wore mine so I could pee.

I asked the waiter “What’s the deal?”
“Following orders,” was his spiel.

I’m not so sure I understand,
It seemed like part of one big plan.

When next they try this BS,
Middle fingers will impress.

Covid Elevation Zones

Restaurant Masking

One of the most blatant absurdities we were asked to accept during the pandemic was the mask protocol for restaurants.

Remember how that went down?

You had to wear a mask when you entered the restaurant. Your servers, waiters, waitresses and cooks had to wear masks. But once you sat down at your table you could take your mask off.

Apparently, a magical, invisible barrier protected the other patrons and the restaurant staff from your unmasked face.

The barrier theory must have been (I have not fact-checked this) that the virus could not survive at lower altitudes in restaurants relative to the interior of the space in that particular restaurant.

The theory breaks down with multi-level restaurants where people on the upper floors followed the exact same protocol as people on the lower floors, but maybe the virus altitude barrier was relative to each floor in the restaurant and not the total interior height.

Yeah…that makes sense. Let’s go with that.

Or maybe I should consult an expert. Oh that’s right—it was the “experts” that came up with this bullshit.

If you needed to use a restroom or get up to confront the manager because you found a Covid virus in your soup you were required to put your mask back on.

That was to protect all the people sitting at tables not wearing masks as you walked by them wearing yours.

This doesn’t account for all the people at tables not wearing masks spreading the virus to other people, at other tables who also were not wearing masks.

Maybe there was no barrier, maybe the virus knew to stay at its own table. It’s kind of like having rules for war. Sure the virus wants to kill everyone, but not at the expense of ethical behavior.

Buy me a cool mask »